OPINION:MEN LIKE SKINNY GIRLS.

The course behind skinny girls.

Body image is the main issue that every teenage girl fights with. It’s common to find girls between the ages 15years to 30years uncomfortable with their body weight. This has led to many girls want to be skinny and have a flat tummy. I’m a woman and I have had body image issues. I struggled with body image to a point of depression. Well, it sucks to be skinny. People look at you and think you have this eating disorder characterized by a low weight, fear of gaining weight, a strong desire to be thin and sometimes food restriction. What is it called again? Ooh! Anorexia. I think it’s rude and mean when people judge about your weight.

Due to my curiosity reasons, I went ahead to interview some of the teenage girls on why most of them want to be skinny. Actually being skinny is normal and real. One of the girls had this to say. “Many women want to be skinny just like super models. Be curvy and attractive to men. You are only beautiful, elegant and graceful when you are skinny. Back then, I was weighing 170 pounds when I met my boyfriend. He then started complaining about my overweight. I wasn’t any more attractive. I hated myself. My boyfriend then introduced me to the Gym. After three months I had lost 40 pounds. My belly somehow still looked like a blob due to losing the 40 pounds.” So you can agree with me that some girls are shaping themselves into what their men prefer.

Talking to the second girls; skinny, sassy and not curvy though. She had different views on body image. “Everyone knows even the society view skinny people as beautiful. I find beauty in all shapes and sizes though. But when it comes to me, skinny is the ultimate goal. I’m skinny, plus I have no curves and I like it that way. In today’s generation skinny bodies with big boobs, butts are praised and athletic bodies. As a pale, no curved, stick I can tell you my body is the trending topic on social media.”

It doesn’t matter how skinny you are, if you have a good personality then it’s worth nothing. There is a difference between having healthy weight, being fat and being underweight. Physically fit doesn’t immediately equal thin or skinny. Many times I get these questions; “is it really possible to loss this annoying belly fat I got and have tiny waist as you?” One thing you should know is that you are what you eat. In order to have tiny waist, skinny or flat tummy like mine; you have to lower your overall body fat. The worth of a woman can be rated upon size. Of course, Jesus turned water into wine but he didn’t turn fat into fine. Go to the Gym and work out. You will get that flat tummy you want.

Am not an activist. Am just doing my research on why mainly campus girls want to be skinny. Nobody is being negative on the heavy weight ladies. It’s all about perspective and respecting everyone how they fell in their struggle. The main factors here are the exercise, diet and motivation. Men like skinny girls. Not just men but rich men. They can choose skinny girls over heavy weight girls.

HOW TO ROCK IN YOUR SINGLEHOOD

Many times I find myself in a critical circumstance with my friends. Being surrounded with campus girls who like dating, partying and having fun in general, it’s more than complicated. They either expect you to be dating or partying. Sometimes they pose uncomfortable questions to you because they want to know who your crush is or if at all you are dating.
Being this city girl, bold and sassy I’m expected to be dating .Yes, you will also agree with me that the society and culture norms push institutions of marriage way too much down our throats. There is nothing wrong with being single and childless. Has it ever crossed your mind why we have lots of single ladies these days in our society? Well, single is not a status. It’s a word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others. At times people tend to judge when you are single but before anyone judges, let’s look at how things are.
People these days think it is better to be in abusive marriage than be in a happy relationship. They even go ahead to stay in that bad marriage and think it is more important how other people look at them instead of thinking about how bad it is for their children witnessing this. However it is so incredibly unfortunate how children pay the most in the end.
I interacted with one of the single ladies in Nairobi and she had this to say about being single, ”It’s not that I hate relationships and marriage. In fact, I would like a relationship, but I’m not just jumping into one for the sake of having one. I’m looking for someone that really connects with me and who I can have a happy relationship with. But so many people don’t see that as the entire point of a relationship. I was once in a relationship which later broke my heart to an extend I lost taste of having one again. It was not easy to recollect myself and just move on to another relationship that fast.
"Maybe for some people it can work but not for everyone. Let’s just say it doesn’t work for me completely. At times people don’t get it, they forget that the wound is too deep and it needs a proper treatment and care for it to heal. This is something serious remember, it’s not just the heart but also the mind breaks too.”
“I decided to take enough time to gather all broken pieces, put them together and be whole again. Most people, after their first heart break need to attend classes or use tutorial so as to understand how to trust and love again. Romantic love is a dangerous illusion and am not sane enough to be in a relationship, at least not now. Sometimes relationships spoil love. It may be better to feel alone and be denied sex outside a relationship than inside one. Men should be held at high standards. Women are the goal keepers when it comes to giving birth. In this century, several single mothers like me are up and down trying to make their end meet. It’s the era where no one cares how you live your life. “
I’m not surprised why many ladies decide to remain single. Marriage is like a shoe. When you wear an oversized shoe, be ready to drag it along throughout your life and when you wear an undersized one, be ready to feel the pain throughout life. Always look for the right shoe size for yourself. Those that rush into it will rush out of it at a quick speed .We live in a generation where there are more relationship goals than life goals. Life goals come first, remember that.

THE MYSTERY DISEASE OF WOMEN.

                  THE MYSTERY DISEASE OF WOMEN.

An often painful disorder which tissue that normally lines the inside of your uterus grows outside your uterus. It’s most commonly involves your ovaries, fallopian tubes and the tissue lining your pelvic. Am talking about Endometriosis. How many of you have ever heard about it? Well, not too bad but maybe too many. Don’t worry, myself I never heard about it until my friend, a classmate in campus shared with me her awful experience of pain during her periods.

It wasn’t a big deal to me since back then we used to be told experiencing awful pains during your periods its normal and it will eventually come to an end when you give birth to your first kid. But that was not the case with Gaudencia, my friend. She could be admitted in university dispensary for the painful cramps. I then developed this curiosity of wanting to know what Gaudencia was experiencing. When I started researching about it, I realized it’s not only Gaudencia who is experiencing this, but about 100 million women are experiencing this.

It is so sad to know that many women don’t understand what Endometriosis is; including women who are suffering from it. Some tend to think it’s this painful cramp that always correlates with your menstrual cycle. So what is this so called Endometriosis? Endometriosis is very painful for those who do not know what it is. It pains as if you get stabbed again and again like a million times right on your abdomen. Endo is so heavy you may think your inside is being cut off. Some of the symptoms: having heavy menstrual bleeding, painful periods (Dysmenorrhea), painful intercourse, Nerve pain and many others.

I understand that many of you may ask what causes Endometriosis. Actually the real cause of Endometriosis is unknown. Note that; Endometriosis is not contagious or a sexually transmitted disease. It’s not a curse .If at all one of your family member have had endometriosis then it’s very likely that you have too, based on the background information. Though Endometriosis is a complex disease and quite different from one another. When it happens that you experience some of this symptoms then it’s not too late or too early to go for a checkup. Endometriosis is not a disease that doctors can see from outside. Some of those who know about Endometriosis fear the treatment because it may leave them with option of not having kids.

Endometriosis doesn’t definitely mean infertility and it doesn’t jut affect women in their thirties and forties. In the case of Gaudencia, she started having her first periods at an age of 8 years. Weird! Yes I know. So being a teenage and having this awful pain was a big hit on her life. The pain is indescribable and absolutely affects every aspect of her teenage life. The loneliness that accompanies it is just as painful as the period cramps. Often you feel broken and depressed of angry. Am not trying to scare you, relax. Am just trying to make my point at home as clear as possible. So the pain makes you feel like you’ve lost part of your teen to a rare autoimmune disease but the worst part is other people’s lack of understanding what you are going through. My wish is that endometriosis screening becomes a routine exam for teenagers and that the next or present generation for women will not have to undergo this terrible experience.

Is endometriosis same as cramps? Not really. Endometriosis is different from cramps. Endometriosis forms a growth called endometrioma on the outside of your uterus. It’s also called cyst. The problem with the endometriosis is that there is no one size fits all treatment plan. Endometriosis can cause your fallopian tubes to become blocked making conception impossible; leading to infertility. It can cause miscarriage too and it doesn’t just stay in your pelvic area, fallopian tubes, uterus, ovaries, it can as well spread to your liver, bladder, lungs and other areas of your body.

Does Endometriosis have a cure? Mmh, no one can guarantee you a 100% cure for it. Let’s just say there is no cure. Though there are some methods used to reduce pain not basically permanent but for quite some time depending on the stage of Endometriosis. Endometriosis has four stages namely Minimal, Mild, Moderate and Savere. Minimal is a stage whereby the implants remain confined to the pelvic region with minimal spreading. This pain can be controlled by painkillers though not permanently. Some doctors prescribe for birth control .This helps the ovaries not to release an ovum monthly hence reducing the pain.

Mild and Moderate this is where the implants increase, it may cover the ovaries, fallopian tubes and go to an extend of covering your cervix. Of course this can be controlled or maybe treated by performing a key hole surgery. This is mainly to remove mild and moderate endometrial deposits. In other circumstances, your ovaries may have to be removed. Endometriosis period; your female organs swell even organs affected by adhesions can become inflamed and lead to bloodedness along with retention. Endometriosis can affect your bladder when it attaches itself to it or even your lungs hence causing them to collapse.

The final stage of endometriosis is called Savere. At this stage there is excessive endometrial implants occurrence in the reproductive area extending out beyond the pelvic region into other areas of the abdominal cavity as well .At this stage a method of diagnosis is Laparoscopic surgery. Since ultra sounds and diagnostics testing often provide no answer so doctors are only left to carry out the Laparoscopic surgery. Some of women suffering with this debilitating disease is Njambi Kaikai and Irene Mumo.Njambi and Irene shared their endometriosis experience on the VictoriasLounge the objective was to help women understand the disease.

We all need to raise awareness so that women experiencing painful periods should not think it’s normal and take it for granted. The disease doesn’t only cause early miscarriage but also terrible hormonal swings that lead to weight gain, depression, mood swings and other health complications. I know a lot of people do not understand this or even heard about endometriosis. But now am glad you all know about it.  

MEN ARE TRASH...

MEN ARE TRASH

In life, we all have this imaginary view of the universe. It’s good to have a picture of what kind of life you want to live or people you want to spend the rest of your life with. However the attitude we create inside ourselves determines what we really gonna have in future.

When growing up, I had this picture of a male figure which I used to refer it as trash. You may not understand what drove in into such decision. I know am not alone in this crazy made up mind. At least 30% of girls will agree with me on this. Men are trash. Maybe where I come from, am used to men being such an Ass.Men are like remotes that needs to be controlled for them to make an act. Hats what I used to be back then. Being used to men who couldn’t stand up for themselves therefore I concluded men being trash. Time has now changed. I have realized that no you just happen to make poor decisions when it comes to selecting men and then pin that down on the whole male population.

Being raised up by a single parent (dad), it taught me how to be independent, always fight and stand tall like a pineapple.Yes,I was  dad’s girl .Growing up in a family full of men wasn’t easy but it was at least the best. So I can’t sit back and say men are trash. I may agree that some men may be trash, some women may be trash but it’s wrong and it’s a crime to say all men and all women are trash.

 

 According to what I have related with in my period of life, a lot of women reject good men and get into relationships with men who they know wont treat them right then they blame all men for the shit.For instance, you meet this good looking guy in the streets of Nairobi, the guy is ready to love you and even marry you. He then approaches you but due to your stubbornness u turn down his proposal. Since you want this imaginary handsome guy, brown skin, American height, a billionaire and should be in possession of at least four companies in town, you decided to reject this guy you just met. When you have just blown away your luck, it’s when you claim men to be trash. Lady, you are the trash here or are you not seeing the trash in you? I believe there are good men out there, so ladies, don’t go around spoiling the portfolio that men are trash. Just because you have a behavior of fucking around with these fuck boys, I t doesn’t mean all men are trash maybe it’s your life that is fucked up.Damn! I have a dad, brother, uncle, nephews and grandfather so sorry some of this male slander is real.

“FALLING” IN LOVE.

“FALLING” IN LOVE.

It takes hard work for one to gain success. It takes courage for the hunter to go into the scary bushes to hunt. But for me, I scarcely understand my strategy of living. It’s like am lost in my own image. I can’t identify my heart and soul. Did I just say soul and heart, ooh! Yeah heart and soul. It’s better to love with your soul because it cannot die unlike the heart that can be broken into pieces and gets weak. Being in love and falling in love is something that makes me confused. I would rather be in love than fall in love. The four letter ward (LOVE) it’s a magical word that I will never understand.

My love life has not been of any good to me.Its like a punishment that I’ll live with all my life. In my tender age I got into a relationship that almost killed me.Weird.I know. I met this guy who seemed to be mr.perfect.We dated for the longest period of time I can remember. He was this Alhadro guy that every girl want to end up with or at least date. Sexy, American Height and Cute. As time showed its back, the worst come in between us. A teenage girl full of life, surrounded with expectations and imaginations of the real world. This guy by the ghost name JK was the guy that I could die for because of love. I did everything for him in the name of love. I allowed him to unbutton my sexy pink blouse which he barely knew the price. He Unzipped my expensive high waist trouser which I was bought for by aunty from South Africa a year ago. Lying on that bed helpless as he squeeze my two ripe tomatoes activating my libido got me a feeling one gets after winning Sportpesa .Lying there, surrendered myself to him as he gentle caressed my petite body, undressing my white panty then  throws it on the nearby chair  across the room. Spreading my tiny thighs as he forced himself in me. That’s how stupid the four letter word can make you be.

  

I lost my virginity that early. After months of serious shit, I was helpless, hopeless, single and a mother. I couldn’t keep the baby so I did what any teenage girl could have done then. Running from responsibility of being a parent was the only option. My life afterwards took another direction. Scared of dating, afraid of relationships and this hatred of man was built in me.It was part of me.Part of my life was like bitter pills which were hard to swallow but it’s the only chance I got to survive. As you all know rejection hard to present itself in such situations so I was rejected. Nothing meaningful was I to live for. Committing suicide was a choice that had no cost in my life. Maybe I wasn’t meant to die too soon and kill all my dreams with me.Having been rejected by your own family isn’t something to ignore.Friends,relatives and even the haters  that always waited for my downfall. My life was hell. I was like a living dead among the living.

However nothing made me what I am.It happened gradually, I knew it was happening and in a perverse sort of way, I rather liked what was happening. This gave me a reason to live and ashamed my enemies. With time I had to put everything behind my back and move on with life. I had to continue with my education. Life in school wasn’t something you can ever imagine of. Trying to act like nothing really never happened in my life was as if am sitting for an exam that I have never attended a class nor barely have the notes but I just have to pass with fucking flying colours.

Time come when I over stayed my welcome and it was time to get out from high school and join university. University at then was known to be a peak of dating for comrades. As this was a new chapter in my life, I had to hit it in a bang. I never felt like dating again. Life in campus was cool though the environment was somehow intimidating since almost everyone aged or around the age of twenty was dating and being in your twenty and you are not dating it seemed as if you are in your forty threes. Though this was challenging and tempting, I never felt like having to date .Maybe dating wasn’t my thing or all this was God’s plan. I come to realize too, that being single isn’t a crime, it’s only but a stage to prepare you for marriage in your future. The single period gives you time to master the following:

·        

T   Thrive in your singlehood

·         Aim for marriage

·         Honour your marriage.

Having numerous EXs is preparation to your divorce in future. As much as my past sucks, am glad it happened so as I can reach single girls, teenagers and you seated there reading my blog from your laptop, iPhone or anywhere you were able to access it from. Maybe you are reading this post for fun but at least one or two words from this post will change your life .Life is not a rehearsal .Sometimes temptations come on our way not to punish us but to prepare us for what awaits us in future. I know I did several mistakes in my past but don’t sit there condemning and judging me on my past as I dwell in my future. Wake up, let’s hit the road. Let’s make the world a better place that we never found it being. The days of judging people on their past is over. All my blog posts always have an end but I can’t remember any blog post that I ever wrote (I GIVE UP).

HOW TO HEAL AFTER BREAK UPS

As much as we hate break ups, they are part  of our life's in one way or another.You were recently in happily relationship and you thought you were meant to each other.Here comes the devil called break ups.You are no longer together with your partner.Anyway,i understand what you feel .Cry or laugh. That's healthy .You have taken time not dating and its time to go back into the game .Don't be a fraid of your next challenge.The following are things that will help you heal your broken heart;

1.Surround yourself with healthy friends.
Encouragement from your loved ones is important to your regeneration.What you need at this moment is your family,friends and people that can make you happy .It doesn't matter how complicated the situation is but try to find happiness from people closed to you.

2.Give time to yourself.
You are just from a relationship that has taken away your happiness for goodness seek.Take time.Stay as long as you want before you get into the next challenge.This will make you understand what you really want for yourself.It will give time for your broken heart to reconnect.Go trips,tours or party as much as you can so as to forget all your part memories.
3.Disconnect with your Ex.
Yes,we are living in a digital life.Life full on online networking. Unsubscribe your Ex from all the social media.This will help you forget all about him and move on.Sometimes when we break up with our partners we tend to stalk them and add pain to yourselves seeing them with other partners already moved on.
4.Create a new world.
Find love for yourself.Collect all the broken pieces ,put them together and move on.Find someone else that appreciates who you are.Forget all your past memories and invest in this new relationship you are in.


5.Get back your Ex .
If you want to get back your ex and make this happen then you still have chances.Its only a matter of understanding each other and what you want for the two of you.Make new resolutions and get to replay your game.Forgiveness is very vital.Ask forgiveness,forgive and be back in the game .It might not be so easy to get back your ex but you may give a try.

THINGS THAT WE DO AFTER BREAK UPS.

After break ups people asks what they should do next.Relax,don't be in a hurry to move on with your next mistake.Take time to rate yourself .Ask yourself what you want next .Try to share you story with friends in order to get some ideas on how to start all over again.Sometimes its good to stay indoors so as to give yourself time to think straight.There are several things that we are always forced to do after break ups which are not necessary at the moment.Some of this things are;
1.Stalking your Ex
The two of you were together and suddenly your relationship dies.Its hard for one to believe this but it take a strong heart to accept and move on with life.You are always on social media stalking your Ex to find out whether they moved on with life.Yes,they moved on.Of course they collected all the broken pieces and fixed them all together.Stop checking whether they have found someone who is more beautifull /handsome than you.

 2.Getting a rebound relationship.
This is something very dangerous.A rebound sex will not solve your problems.You are trying to fight your past by using your Ex best friend .Relax,you are out of control and you just want to easily forget your past.Go on trips,tours just to have fun.This will help the inner you to understand whats happening in your life.Therefore,after getting to know the real you ,move on.
3.Giving up on relationships.
Yes you were happily together and breaking up never crossed your mind.You have broken up with your partner but you thought you were meant for each other forever.Sorry.Hey thats not the end ot the world.Move on.Dont let yourself suffer too much.Take time to rethink your next act.Stay indoor so as to allow yourself think uprightly.Make your conclusion to move on with life.Love is just a game and like in all games we must have winners and losers.Start all over again.Keep the game a life.

4.Regrets.
This is something that everyone experiences in life.I loved him/her .I gave my best into it but i got pain.NO,this must stop.Forget all the things you did for your partner .You did it out of love.Put all that aside and move on with life.Regrets always make someone a loser.
5.Reading books and magazine on break ups issues.
If that will make you feel better then do it.Try to make yourself busy .Get inspired by peoples experiences and learn more about it.