HOW TO ROCK IN YOUR SINGLEHOOD

Many times I find myself in a critical circumstance with my friends. Being surrounded with campus girls who like dating, partying and having fun in general, it’s more than complicated. They either expect you to be dating or partying. Sometimes they pose uncomfortable questions to you because they want to know who your crush is or if at all you are dating.
Being this city girl, bold and sassy I’m expected to be dating .Yes, you will also agree with me that the society and culture norms push institutions of marriage way too much down our throats. There is nothing wrong with being single and childless. Has it ever crossed your mind why we have lots of single ladies these days in our society? Well, single is not a status. It’s a word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others. At times people tend to judge when you are single but before anyone judges, let’s look at how things are.
People these days think it is better to be in abusive marriage than be in a happy relationship. They even go ahead to stay in that bad marriage and think it is more important how other people look at them instead of thinking about how bad it is for their children witnessing this. However it is so incredibly unfortunate how children pay the most in the end.
I interacted with one of the single ladies in Nairobi and she had this to say about being single, ”It’s not that I hate relationships and marriage. In fact, I would like a relationship, but I’m not just jumping into one for the sake of having one. I’m looking for someone that really connects with me and who I can have a happy relationship with. But so many people don’t see that as the entire point of a relationship. I was once in a relationship which later broke my heart to an extend I lost taste of having one again. It was not easy to recollect myself and just move on to another relationship that fast.
"Maybe for some people it can work but not for everyone. Let’s just say it doesn’t work for me completely. At times people don’t get it, they forget that the wound is too deep and it needs a proper treatment and care for it to heal. This is something serious remember, it’s not just the heart but also the mind breaks too.”
“I decided to take enough time to gather all broken pieces, put them together and be whole again. Most people, after their first heart break need to attend classes or use tutorial so as to understand how to trust and love again. Romantic love is a dangerous illusion and am not sane enough to be in a relationship, at least not now. Sometimes relationships spoil love. It may be better to feel alone and be denied sex outside a relationship than inside one. Men should be held at high standards. Women are the goal keepers when it comes to giving birth. In this century, several single mothers like me are up and down trying to make their end meet. It’s the era where no one cares how you live your life. “
I’m not surprised why many ladies decide to remain single. Marriage is like a shoe. When you wear an oversized shoe, be ready to drag it along throughout your life and when you wear an undersized one, be ready to feel the pain throughout life. Always look for the right shoe size for yourself. Those that rush into it will rush out of it at a quick speed .We live in a generation where there are more relationship goals than life goals. Life goals come first, remember that.

THE MYSTERY DISEASE OF WOMEN.

                  THE MYSTERY DISEASE OF WOMEN.

An often painful disorder which tissue that normally lines the inside of your uterus grows outside your uterus. It’s most commonly involves your ovaries, fallopian tubes and the tissue lining your pelvic. Am talking about Endometriosis. How many of you have ever heard about it? Well, not too bad but maybe too many. Don’t worry, myself I never heard about it until my friend, a classmate in campus shared with me her awful experience of pain during her periods.

It wasn’t a big deal to me since back then we used to be told experiencing awful pains during your periods its normal and it will eventually come to an end when you give birth to your first kid. But that was not the case with Gaudencia, my friend. She could be admitted in university dispensary for the painful cramps. I then developed this curiosity of wanting to know what Gaudencia was experiencing. When I started researching about it, I realized it’s not only Gaudencia who is experiencing this, but about 100 million women are experiencing this.

It is so sad to know that many women don’t understand what Endometriosis is; including women who are suffering from it. Some tend to think it’s this painful cramp that always correlates with your menstrual cycle. So what is this so called Endometriosis? Endometriosis is very painful for those who do not know what it is. It pains as if you get stabbed again and again like a million times right on your abdomen. Endo is so heavy you may think your inside is being cut off. Some of the symptoms: having heavy menstrual bleeding, painful periods (Dysmenorrhea), painful intercourse, Nerve pain and many others.

I understand that many of you may ask what causes Endometriosis. Actually the real cause of Endometriosis is unknown. Note that; Endometriosis is not contagious or a sexually transmitted disease. It’s not a curse .If at all one of your family member have had endometriosis then it’s very likely that you have too, based on the background information. Though Endometriosis is a complex disease and quite different from one another. When it happens that you experience some of this symptoms then it’s not too late or too early to go for a checkup. Endometriosis is not a disease that doctors can see from outside. Some of those who know about Endometriosis fear the treatment because it may leave them with option of not having kids.

Endometriosis doesn’t definitely mean infertility and it doesn’t jut affect women in their thirties and forties. In the case of Gaudencia, she started having her first periods at an age of 8 years. Weird! Yes I know. So being a teenage and having this awful pain was a big hit on her life. The pain is indescribable and absolutely affects every aspect of her teenage life. The loneliness that accompanies it is just as painful as the period cramps. Often you feel broken and depressed of angry. Am not trying to scare you, relax. Am just trying to make my point at home as clear as possible. So the pain makes you feel like you’ve lost part of your teen to a rare autoimmune disease but the worst part is other people’s lack of understanding what you are going through. My wish is that endometriosis screening becomes a routine exam for teenagers and that the next or present generation for women will not have to undergo this terrible experience.

Is endometriosis same as cramps? Not really. Endometriosis is different from cramps. Endometriosis forms a growth called endometrioma on the outside of your uterus. It’s also called cyst. The problem with the endometriosis is that there is no one size fits all treatment plan. Endometriosis can cause your fallopian tubes to become blocked making conception impossible; leading to infertility. It can cause miscarriage too and it doesn’t just stay in your pelvic area, fallopian tubes, uterus, ovaries, it can as well spread to your liver, bladder, lungs and other areas of your body.

Does Endometriosis have a cure? Mmh, no one can guarantee you a 100% cure for it. Let’s just say there is no cure. Though there are some methods used to reduce pain not basically permanent but for quite some time depending on the stage of Endometriosis. Endometriosis has four stages namely Minimal, Mild, Moderate and Savere. Minimal is a stage whereby the implants remain confined to the pelvic region with minimal spreading. This pain can be controlled by painkillers though not permanently. Some doctors prescribe for birth control .This helps the ovaries not to release an ovum monthly hence reducing the pain.

Mild and Moderate this is where the implants increase, it may cover the ovaries, fallopian tubes and go to an extend of covering your cervix. Of course this can be controlled or maybe treated by performing a key hole surgery. This is mainly to remove mild and moderate endometrial deposits. In other circumstances, your ovaries may have to be removed. Endometriosis period; your female organs swell even organs affected by adhesions can become inflamed and lead to bloodedness along with retention. Endometriosis can affect your bladder when it attaches itself to it or even your lungs hence causing them to collapse.

The final stage of endometriosis is called Savere. At this stage there is excessive endometrial implants occurrence in the reproductive area extending out beyond the pelvic region into other areas of the abdominal cavity as well .At this stage a method of diagnosis is Laparoscopic surgery. Since ultra sounds and diagnostics testing often provide no answer so doctors are only left to carry out the Laparoscopic surgery. Some of women suffering with this debilitating disease is Njambi Kaikai and Irene Mumo.Njambi and Irene shared their endometriosis experience on the VictoriasLounge the objective was to help women understand the disease.

We all need to raise awareness so that women experiencing painful periods should not think it’s normal and take it for granted. The disease doesn’t only cause early miscarriage but also terrible hormonal swings that lead to weight gain, depression, mood swings and other health complications. I know a lot of people do not understand this or even heard about endometriosis. But now am glad you all know about it.