“FALLING” IN LOVE.
It takes hard work for one to gain success.
It takes courage for the hunter to go into the scary bushes to hunt. But for me,
I scarcely understand my strategy of living. It’s like am lost in my own image.
I can’t identify my heart and soul. Did I just say soul and heart, ooh! Yeah
heart and soul. It’s better to love with your soul because it cannot die unlike
the heart that can be broken into pieces and gets weak. Being in love and
falling in love is something that makes me confused. I would rather be in love
than fall in love. The four letter ward (LOVE) it’s a magical word that I will
never understand.
My love life has not been of any good
to me.Its like a punishment that I’ll live with all my life. In my tender age I
got into a relationship that almost killed me.Weird.I know. I met this guy who
seemed to be mr.perfect.We dated for the longest period of time I can remember.
He was this Alhadro guy that every girl want to end up with or at least date.
Sexy, American Height and Cute. As time showed its back, the worst come in
between us. A teenage girl full of life, surrounded with expectations and
imaginations of the real world. This guy by the ghost name JK was the guy that
I could die for because of love. I did everything for him in the name of love.
I allowed him to unbutton my sexy pink blouse which he barely knew the price. He
Unzipped my expensive high waist trouser which I was bought for by aunty from
South Africa a year ago. Lying on that bed helpless as he squeeze my two ripe
tomatoes activating my libido got me a feeling one gets after winning Sportpesa
.Lying there, surrendered myself to him as he gentle caressed my petite body,
undressing my white panty then throws it
on the nearby chair across the room.
Spreading my tiny thighs as he forced himself in me. That’s how stupid the four
letter word can make you be.
I lost my virginity that early. After
months of serious shit, I was helpless, hopeless, single and a mother. I
couldn’t keep the baby so I did what any teenage girl could have done then.
Running from responsibility of being a parent was the only option. My life
afterwards took another direction. Scared of dating, afraid of relationships
and this hatred of man was built in me.It was part of me.Part of my life was like
bitter pills which were hard to swallow but it’s the only chance I got to survive.
As you all know rejection hard to present itself in such situations so I was
rejected. Nothing meaningful was I to live for. Committing suicide was a choice
that had no cost in my life. Maybe I wasn’t meant to die too soon and kill all
my dreams with me.Having been rejected by your own family isn’t something to
ignore.Friends,relatives and even the haters
that always waited for my downfall. My life was hell. I was like a
living dead among the living.
However nothing made me what I am.It
happened gradually, I knew it was happening and in a perverse sort of way, I
rather liked what was happening. This gave me a reason to live and ashamed my enemies.
With time I had to put everything behind my back and move on with life. I had
to continue with my education. Life in school wasn’t something you can ever
imagine of. Trying to act like nothing really never happened in my life was as
if am sitting for an exam that I have never attended a class nor barely have
the notes but I just have to pass with fucking flying colours.
Time come when I over stayed my
welcome and it was time to get out from high school and join university.
University at then was known to be a peak of dating for comrades. As this was a
new chapter in my life, I had to hit it in a bang. I never felt like dating again.
Life in campus was cool though the environment was somehow intimidating since
almost everyone aged or around the age of twenty was dating and being in your
twenty and you are not dating it seemed as if you are in your forty threes.
Though this was challenging and tempting, I never felt like having to date
.Maybe dating wasn’t my thing or all this was God’s plan. I come to realize too,
that being single isn’t a crime, it’s only but a stage to prepare you for
marriage in your future. The single period gives you time to master the
following:
· 
T Thrive
in your singlehood
·
Aim
for marriage
·
Honour
your marriage.
Having numerous EXs is preparation to
your divorce in future. As much as my past sucks, am glad it happened so as I
can reach single girls, teenagers and you seated there reading my blog from
your laptop, iPhone or anywhere you were able to access it from. Maybe you are
reading this post for fun but at least one or two words from this post will
change your life .Life is not a rehearsal .Sometimes temptations come on our
way not to punish us but to prepare us for what awaits us in future. I know I
did several mistakes in my past but don’t sit there condemning and judging me
on my past as I dwell in my future. Wake up, let’s hit the road. Let’s make the
world a better place that we never found it being. The days of judging people
on their past is over. All my blog posts always have an end but I can’t
remember any blog post that I ever wrote (I GIVE UP).
In life, we all have this imaginary
view of the universe. It’s good to have a picture of what kind of life you want
to live or people you want to spend the rest of your life with. However the
attitude we create inside ourselves determines what we really gonna have in
future.
